YOU JUST GOT PUNK’D! ASHTON KUTCHER & PELOSI ADMIT IMPEACHMENT WAS ALL A BIG HOAX!

This Was A Big Interview! Before I Got The Call To Do This, I Was Writing My Diss Track To Eminem Which I Creatively Titled “My Diss Track To Eminem” But My Friends Didn’t Like It So I Went To Rename It. But Then I Realized……… I Don’t Have Any Friends!

But I Took That Call, Agreed To The Interview, I Left My House, Called An Uber, Got In A Taxi, Plus Took The Train & A Ride Sharing Service That Travelled West To The Airport.

But Then I Realized That My House Was Right Beside The Airport & I Had Travelled 64 Miles West For No Reason, So I Had To Turn Around & Go Right Back Home!

But I Eventually Got On That Plane & Flew To Washington D.C & Was Told To Meet Ashton Kutcher & Nancy Pelosi In A Subway, Not The Restaraunt But The Actual Subway!

And There I Patiently Waited, When Kutcher & Pelosi Finally Arrived , Pelosi Said She Was Hungry & Demanded We Leave Cause She Didn’t Wanna Eat In A Place Called The Subway.

So We All Got In A Limo And Went To Eat At……..Um……..Subway?

I Then Asked “Nancy Are You A Hater”? To Which She Replied “Not Only Am I Hater, But I Keep Hate In My Pocketbook, And I Put That Sh*t On Everything”!

I Noticed Ashton Was Quiet So I Asked Him Why? He Said

“Cause Basically Abe This Old B*tch Wont Shut The F*ck Up! Im Gonna Kill Myself!

So I Said “Not Without Me Videotaping It & Putting It On Worldstar First”!

I Then Proceeded To Proceed With The Procedure Of Proceeding With The Interview.

Abe–Nancy This Hoax Has Cost The Taxpayers 40$ Million Dollars!  How In Gods Name Is That Funny?

Nancy–Well…Its Not Funny But When It Comes To Trump We’ve Found That No One Cares How Reckless We Are”.The Taxpayers Don’t Care & Guess What? Niether Do We!

Abe– Yes I’ve Been To Your District In San Francisco & It’s Very Apparent.

Nancy– My Parents Are Dead.

Abe– Noooo! I Said…… Nevermind! Why Do You Hate Trump So Much?

Nancy– Because We The Democrats Can’t Wait To Get Back In So We Can Control People & Tell Them What To Think!

Abe– How Do You Think Black People Feel About That?

Nancy– Right Now Black People Don’t Know How To Feel, Cause They’re So Used To Us Telling Them How To Fell, I Mean Feel, That’s Why We Have To Get Back In!

Rasheeda Needs To Know She Can Be A Single Lesbian Mother Who Can Collect Welfare For Life! Right Now Trump Is Telling Rasheeda To Get A Job & Go To School, We Can’t Have That!

Abe– Ashton Kutcher Are You Gonna Say Anything?

Ashton– Well…

Nancy– Shut Da F*ck Up Boy Before I Have Your Ass Epsteined Up In This B*tch!

North San Fran! What?!!

Ashton Put His Head Down, Slowly Got Up & Walked Away Crying! Nancy Screamed Out!….. And You Betta Put That Scuba Diving Gear On Again! Cause Tonight When We Get Back To That Hotel, You Goin Back Down Deep Divin In My Fishy Woman Pit!

Ashton Ran Away Cry-Vomiting, That’s When You Cry & Vomit At The Same—Ok You Get It, Let Me Finish Finishing The Interview.

Abe–Nancy What Do You Say To All The American People Who Now Know That This Impeachment Is A Scam & More Than Likely Won’t Get Past The Republican Run Senate?

Nancy– Oh Thats An Easy One Abe, I’ll Just Say…….

America!…..YOU JUST GOT PELOSI’D!!! ?

Abe– Dont You Mean PUNK’D?

Nancy– F*CK TRUMP!

Abe– Nooo! I Said……..Nevermind!

Btw,  Ashton Kutcher Comitted Suicide Y’all!

In A Scuba Diving Suit!

Don’t Ask!

Abe Finklestein

The King Of Sports Humor