DWIGHT HOWARD CAUGHT IN A NORTH PHILA. GAY BAR!?

The gay rumors that have plagued Dwight Howard throughout his NBA Career have now followed him to his new team in Philadelphia.

Once a Laker now a Sixer, Dwight’s barely been on his new team less than a week before scandal found him & struck again!

Two Transgendered barmaids at “Woodys” a well known bar & hangout for gay & trans men, are claiming the veteran NBA player swung through to cruise & hangout.

It Was Him Honey!

Said Mandeeshica & Co Barmaid Guy Jasmen.

Mandeeshica: – It was him! He tried to play it off like he was lost & asking for directions but them size 16 shoes had all eyes on him!

Guy Jasmen: – Hoe! How you know? Wasn’t your fat Shrek lookin ass supposed to be bartending?

Mandeeshica :- B*tch I know you ain’t talkin! You stank fishy cheese herpes magnet! 

Ladies! Or people who identify as ladies, Calm down! what about Dwight? What was he wearing?

Guy Jasmen: Hold up Abe who the f*ck you think you talkin too?!

I’m talkin  to y– Bamm! The two trans women attacked me! I got punched over a barstool and into a video game! I swung, missed, and got punch kicked into the jukebox which started playing “Im Every Woman”!

That’s when I went into a Mayweather/Ali stance & connected two viscous jabs that made me proud, as the two women staggered & fell backwards, but my pride was short lived as I forgot they were actually two grown ass men who were now even more mad & they both went into a Wicked Tyson stance!

They swung, I blocked hard as I could but somehow I ended up gettin punched out the door onto 13th St!  My abe finklestein wig fell off & my left shoe was on backwards, I realized this wasnt gonna work so I took off running, I was out!

Still never found out if Dwight Howard was in that bar but I did find out that Transgendered Women will whoop your ass!

I was tired from running, so i got ice for my eyes & sat on a park bench when suddenly! Dwight Howard popped out the bushes & said_–

Them B*tches got you too huh!?

Abe Finklestein

The King of Sports Humor

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