THE CLEVELAND BROWNS ANNOUNCE “DEATH” AS THEIR NEW MASCOT!

BOY OH BOY! IS IT BAD FOR THE CLEVELAND BROWNS!  AFTER POSTING A HEART ATTACK INDUCING, POST MORTEM LIKE  3-13 RECORD In 2015-16 and practically  Killing the Fans hopes of ever winning anything, The Team has decided to embrace its horrible losing image and hire a new Mascot that would not only fit their team but be the embodiment & personification of it!

And what image would best represent The “Dead in the water” Cleveland Browns  then ” Death” itself.?  Yes “Death”! And honestly they couldn’t have picked a better choice! At first the negotiations broke down because “Death” was quoted as saying ” hey man I’m “Death” i know i have a bad reputation but dang man even i don’t wanna go this low”

But after reading a fan letter from a 6 yr. old boy with Terminal Leukemia who stated his dying wish was to see The Browns finally get a 9-7 winning season! Death changed his mind, Out of curiosity we called the little dying boy and asked him why isn’t his wish for The Browns to win a Super Bowl? His response was ” What’s a Super Bowl”?

D*mn! That’s Bad! How Bad? ICDC College Bad! The Cleveland Browns are searching for a New Head Coach After firing Head Coach Mike Pettine in Week 17,  maybe “Death” can help out with The Coaching duties, so we asked him & his response was

“Man that’s “Dead”! It’s bad enough that i signed on to be The Mascot for this Team!  Im not a Coach , So The Mascot is what i’ll be, and that’s the only thing i’ll be! Ok? Coaching is a very hard job and that’s just waaaaayyy too much work for me”! Come on whaddayawant me to kill myself”‘?

Abe Finklestein
Sports Humour