REPORT: FLAVA FLAV PULLED UP ON CHUCK D IN A 98 & BEAT HIS ASS WITH A CLOCK!

After A Much Publicized Breakup That Ended With Legendary Rapper Chuck D Firing His Longtime Collaborator & Friend Flava Flav From The Group Public Enemy Last Week, The Hiphop Community Has Been Shook!

It’s Hard To Watch Because These Two Legends Are Lifetime Friends & The Accusations Have Been Flying Back & Forth As Flava Maintains This Was Over Politics, While Chuck D Claims Its Drugs & This Has Been A Longtime Coming.

Either Way Reports Are Flying Like Crazy That Flav Finally Got Sick Of Chuck D’s Sh*t And Pulled Up In A 98 Oldsmobile & Viciously Beat Chucks Ass With A Clock!

Sources Say Flav Called Chuck While He Was On A Plane To Arizona To Meet Bernie Sanders & Threatened To Whoop His Ass By The Time He Got To Arizona!  Chuck Laughed It Off By Saying I Don’t Believe The Hype!

But Sure Nuff By The Time Chuck Got To Arizona Flav Was Right There, And Pulled Up In The Airport! Yes The Airport, Right In The Luggage Section!  In A 98 Oldsmobile! Hopped Out & Proceeded To Deliver A Vicious Welcome To The Terrordome Style Ass Whoopin To Chuck D Using His Trademark Clock As A Weapon!

And Yes!  The Rhythm The Rebel Without A Pause Chuck Was In Trouble!  The Hard Rhymer Where You Never Been I’m In, Please Don’t Don’t Hit Me Wit Dat Clock Again!  But Flav Wasn’t Havin It & Was Determined To Bring The Noise.

He Slammed Chuck On The Luggage Conveyor Belt, Chuck Cried Out For Help But By Then Everyone Had Their Cellphones Out Screaming Worldstar & Laughing At Poor Chucky D, It Got So Bad That When Chuck Screamed Out “Call 911”!

The Whole Airport Screamed Back “911 Is A Joke”!

In A Last Act Of Desperation Chuck Saw Bernie Sanders Standing In The Crowd With Chinese Rapper Psy & Screamed  “Bernie Help”!

And That’s When Bernie Sanders Turned Bernie Sigal On Chuck, Grabbed The Clock From Flav & The 3 Commenced To Whoopin Chuck D’s Ass Gangnam Style!

A TSA Agent Watching The Whole Thing Go Down Said “I Can Stop This Ass Whippin At Anytime But That Was Some Cold Sh*t He Did To Flav So Im Let Dat B*tch Ass Snicka Catch All Dat Smoke!

But Suddenly The Airport Had To Close Cause The Lady That Run The Airport Had To Pick Up Her Kids From Daycare!

So They All Shook Hands & Made Up.  Flav Left With A White Woman, Psy Went Back To Being Obscure & Irrlevant & Chuck D Left To Promote Politics With Bernie Sanders.

Fight The Power! ??

Abe Finklestein
The King Of Sports Humor