CODY PARKEY: DON’T BLAME IT ON MY GROIN! ( OUR 200th POST! )

The king of sports humour EAGLES KICKER CODY PARKEY WANTS US ALL TO KNOW THAT HIS GROIN IS JUST FINE! As a matter of fact he’s pretty adamant about it, and you know what they say about a guy whose adamant that his groin is not hurt? Well actually they say nothing but d**mit! Somebody needs to make up a saying about guys who are adamant that their groins are not hurt.

CODY, after coming off of Monday Nights Disappointing 26-24 loss to the Atlanta Falcons, in which he missed an important 44 yd. late 4th quarter field goal attempt, maintains he is just fine and that his groin doesn’t hurt and he’s just human. As a matter of fact here’s a direct quote:

“I’m fine I feel fine I’m perfect I got a lot of work in preseason I feel perfect” Wow, a lil bit snappy but what do you expect from a guy whose had a groin injury?

CODY’S STATS

Groin breakdown: A Groin is the area just South of a Man’s navel, this is an area Near A Mans Bal— wait minute! We have a PG Rating so Technically We can’t say the words, “Near A Mans Balls”, No we are not allowed to say those words on this website! And if we ever do say The Words ” Near A Mans Balls” on this website, we’ll be in Biggggg Trouble!

So I, Abe Finklestein will just refer to it as… Um… a Manbag. And if you ever get hit in your Manbag or near your Manbag it hurts for quite awhile! So Cody if your Manbag still hurts we would understand you missing that kick because a Great Deal of A Man’s Power comes from his Manbag.

Chip Kelly’s has went on record to say “On 3rd & 1, we didn’t get a lot of movement up front and it was a 43 yarder, we have great confidence in Cody, it’s tough he’s hit that before” Yeah that’s easy for you to say Chip as your Manbag is Pretty safe on The Sidelines.

To be fair to Cody, on the play before that kick, Jason Kelce got a penalty called for something the replay showed he clearly did not do! And there was a lot of Indecision on The Eagles Sideline before that kick, the clock was down to about 11 seconds when the team actually hit the field to even attempt The Field Goal. So of course everyone can agree that it’s not all Cody’s fault.

But Here’s one more quote from Cody ” There’s no rhyme or reason to missing, I’m human and I missed, don’t know what to tell you, perfect snap, perfect hold, obviously it didn’t help us win today, it’s my fault”

It’s Ok Cody The Fans Of Philadelphia still support you! It’s just one kick, so they’re probably still firmly riding on your Manbag! But Just know Mr. Cody if you ever miss a 4th & 1 potentially Game Winning Kick again those same Eagles Fans will Jump right off your Manbag and hop straight on your back! Philly don’t play that!

Abefinklestein
Sports Humour

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