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RUMOR HAS IT: THE FREE AGENT EDITION PT.1

The King of Sports HumourRUMOR HAS IT the Cowboys might want Adrian Peterson, rather than DeMarco Murray, if AP becomes available. Fitting, once AP was disciplined by the league for whooping his son’s ass, he became the type of player the Cowboys covet ,The Boys used the Franchise tag on Dez meaning they might not have enough money to also afford Murray. If AP becomes available because of the fact he now hates the Vikings feeling mistreated by them, and being he’s from Texas, he might come cheaper than Murray. Plus, Adrian Peterson could really use a “switch.”

RUMOR HAS IT The Miami Dolphins are pursuing Ndamukong Suh. Makes a ton of sense. Now when they lose the division to the Patriots it’ll be by 2 games and not 4.

RUMOR HAS IT that there’s a video of Dez Bryant doing something naughty. Like, “Ray Rice, Oh-know-you-didn’t” type of naughty. ESPN employee Adam Schefter has been working on the Dez Bryant video rumor since September. One would think this would hurt Dez free agent stock but let’s face it, the Cowboys aren’t a team with morals so…Mr. Plastic aka Jerry Jones, along with his side chick Governor Chris “White Fat Albert” Christie will do all they can to bury the story.

This alleged video (We all know the video exists so let’s stop; but for the sake of the law we’ll keep saying alleged) obviously exists and Dez all but admitted it. He posted on Twitter, “I need to get me a real raw uncut tv show or something … I can’t continue to get betrayed like this.” Sounds like confirmation to me. What Dez is saying is that real friend’s burn the video of all my committed crimes. Don’t worry Dez, Jerry Jones will pay the ransom and free the tape from the media’s hands. Then you’ll be punished with a Franchise tag that will pay you over 13 million dollars to play football for another year. Remember people, laws are for the poor. Though no one outside of Dez, his friend and the woman he brutally harmed knows what’s on the tape, my guess is the video defies all odds and shows Dez Bryant leading the Cowboys to a playoff win without the refs help

.RUMOR HAS IT that the Eagles offered Jeremy Maclin 9 mill a year and he turned it down wanting 11 mill a year. Dude? The Birds threw Desean Jackson in the trash for nothing and traded Lesean McCoy to an NFL dump sight. You are not getting 11 mill from them. Maclin better be prepared to catch balls from the Texans QB if he wants that type of doe. Before he does he’ll have to learn the Texans QB name which none of us currently know. Even The Texans Head Coach refers to his QB as whats-his-name.

RUMOR HAS IT the Eagles want to sign every top free agent on defense. They tried signing every free agent a few years ago and were labeled “Dream Team” which led to more disappointment. From the comedy QB styling’s of Vince Young hitting the opposing team in the chest with his wobbly passes, to Nnamdi asomugha being the 15 Million dollar original Bradley Fletcher. Eagles’ fans suffered. Luckily for the Barney “Chip Kelly” Rubble led Eagles, this season will mark only the 50th season they don’t win the Super Bowl. Yay for them.

Adayus Knight

sports humour

 

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