[textillate effect_in=’fadeInLeftBig’ type_in=’sequence’ effect_out=’hinge’ type_out=’shuffle’]Abe Finklestein The King Of Sports Humour.No Athlete Is Safe![/textillate]
DEZ BRYANT LOVES HIM SOME BLING! AND WHY SHOULD’NT HE? After all he is a Million Dollar Athlete & Athletes love to wear their Bling! Problem is Dez Bryant likes to wear his Bling on The Field at Practice. And after The Melee that took place at a practice game between The Cowboys & St. Louis Rams We’re now hearing that:
NO. 1 Dez Got Punched in The Face by Some Guy wearing NO. 45. ( The Rams Practice Roster lists this NO# As belonging to Imoan Claiborne & Zachary Laskey) hmmm?
NO. 2 Dez subsequently lost his Diamond Earring, which in turn added to the Melee.
So we’re just gonna go with The Angle of, “The real reason for that fight is Dez got punched in the face and he lost his earring” and honestly, I Adayus Knight could not be happier! Finklestein’s been up my azz for a story, so hear it is Stinklebean!
Ok so I tried to interview The Following Celebrities & Athletes for a quote on this Fight, but I couldn’t get through. So I just imagined what they would’ve said. But first! Here’s a realtime quote from the Cowboys Exec. Vice Prez Stephen Jones.
“I hate it. At the end of the day we know why it happens,” said Cowboys executive vice president Stephen Jones, who is on the NFL’s competition committee. “I can’t imagine that we can’t continue to have joint practices and get this right just like we do a lot of things. But we’re going to have to continue to emphasize that stuff is not what we want.”
And Now Here’s My List of Would Be Quotes From People Who Would Not Respond To My Calls.
NO. 1 Donald Trump- Probably wants all the Cowboys deported.
NO. 2 Chris Christie- most likely would’ve responded to Trump’s demands but as you can see from the pix above, he’s to busy stuffing his face!
NO. 3 Geno Smith- After getting his jaw broke, has been kinda relegated to Kermit the Frog Meme Status and would probably just sip his tea… Through a straw of course. Ironically Kanye West’s “Through the wire” would be playing as Geno sipped his tea.
NO. 4 Jerry Jones- Whose face looks like an Olskool Shrinky-Dink Toy after its put in the oven. He pretty much now looks like Caitlyn Jenner and let’s face it after Jerry Jenner’s latest surgery he probably wasn’t able to comment on the fight because his lips are probably now glued together
On a side note, congrats to Jerry Jenner for his ESPY award for Courage.
NO. 5 Jason Garrett- probably would’ve said ” hey maybe I should get punched in the face, it’s seems to be the new way to get publicity in The NFL”
Honestly I realize that about 90% of you Sports Fans probably know about this fight but on a serious note might I say how irresponsible it is to wear Expensive Jewelry while you’re Playing Pro Sports, and might I also say how irresponsible it was for me not to be there and ultimately find that lost earring as opposed to The Security Gaurd that did find it.
In Closing I would like to Shout Out NO. 45 on the Rams Practice Sqaud, For doing what I and Every Philadelphia Eagles Fan have been wanting to do for a long time now. Thank you sir! And might I also say The Cowboys picked The Right Team to Fight with cause if they had tried that crap in Philly they would’ve lost way more than their earrings!