Congratulations to The Phila. Eagles & Owner Jeffrey Lurie for his groundbreaking decision to hire Olskool Rap Legend Dougie Fresh as The New Head Coach for The Team. Wow! Who knew? Who would’ve ever thought that Lurie had a Soft Side for Olskool Hip Hop? As this move Surprises & Dumbfounds even me! “Abe Finklestein” a guy who pretty much thrives off of Surprising & Dumbfounding Headlines!
But nonetheless Good Ole Jeffrey (i have a small mexican family living in my forehead ) Lurie has pulled off what many are saying- ——– -(interruption)
wait a minute im being handed a note from my colleague, let me read it out loud.
: Abe if your reading this you’ve probably went ahead with the story by now and its probably to late but here goes,……. Abe this story was told to us by Steve Harvey, and no The Eagles did not sign Dougie Fresh they signed Doug Pederson! Sorry Abe! My bad!
I was supposed to tell you earlier but i was Smoking crack with 80’s Pop Singer El Debarge. Btw he’s still wondering whose holding Donna Now.
Ok readers i made a mistake here or should i say Steve Harvey did, either way Congratulations Phila Fans on your New Head Coach Doug Pederson! Ladies & Gentlemen! Let The Cavalcade of Mediocrity begin! But honestly i’d rather have Dougie Fresh as the new coach, it would’ve been cool to have him doing The Beatbox at all The Press Conferences. But no worries im sure Doug Pederson has some beats too. He’ll be beating Eagles Fans upside their heads wit dat Bullsh*t!
But look on The Bright Side Eagles Fans……..
There it is! Look at it!
Abe Finklestein ( no i mean)