MEMORIAL DAY IS UPON US AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. That means Beef, Beer ,Cookouts, Music, Family and Fun. But let’s be honest what’s a Good Memorial Day Cookout without that Drunk Middle Aged Uncle trying to recapture his Glory years in Sports.
And that means interrupting the kids games to give them a speech about how it used to be done in his day, ill advised “freaky deaky”moves on the court that his fat middle aged ankles can’t handle that ultimately leads to injury and of course relatives and friends laughing.
So we’ve put together a list of Tips to avoid this type of Foolery and Shenanigans and we hope you find this list valuable, as a matter of fact we know you will because after reading this list, this year you’ll be prepared for The Drunk Middle Aged Uncle at the cookout who’s still trying to hang onto his Glory Years.
No.1 Hide the Malt Liquor!- It’s been proven that Malt Liqour makes people –and we quote ” Act A Dang Fool”! So make sure only Budweiser and Coors are Available For Drunk Middle Aged Uncle (DMAU)
No.2 Steer the conversation away from Sports- Don’t let DMAU bore the Cookout with old Glory Stories, so as soon as sports come up switch the topic to Bruce Jenner’s Sex Organ Reassignment Surgery.
No.3 -This is non sports related but don’t let DMAU man the grill- he’s gonna pour about 20 ounces of Lighter Fluid on the charcoals that are already self lighting charcoals and we all know where this is going.
No.4- Hide all Footballs And Basketballs- If he doesn’t see it then he won’t dream it or believe it, if he asks where are all the balls? Just say there certainly not in Bruce Jenner’s Pants.
No.5- Have the Local Ambulance Company on speed dial- Yes this is the most important if you truly love DMAU cause chances are no matter how hard you try he’s gonna get around all these tactics and somehow manage to have a Memorial Day Cookout Sports Disaster.
And for some reason it’s gonna start when he hears R Kelly’s “Step In The Name Of Love” and end with him inside an ambulance with Barbecue Sauce on his face holding his ankle screaming.
So in closing well say This, Happy Memorial Day to all our readers and Sports Humour Fans Everywhere and just remember, There really are no balls inside Bruce Jenner’s Pants.