AS WE STATED BEFORE WE BELIEVE THAT PHILA EAGLES HEAD COACH CHIP KELLY Is Cartoon star Barney Rubble of Flinstone’s Fame. Well that was before but this time we have Proof! Read on and you will see the 5 reasons that will finally prove once and for all that Chip Kelly is Barney Rubble! ( cue the dramatic music you know that music that plays in a movie or tv show every time someone has that eureka moment where as…… ) um never mind here are the reasons
1. He’s short and has a lil soft cupcakey kinda voice just like Barney Rubble. Huh? Huh? Come on yall ride with us
2.You absolutely never ever see any waist down shots of Chip cause if you did you would see that he has no shoes or pants on just that lil brown shirt skirt thingy just like Barney Rubble. Huh? Huh? See where were “goin” come on y’all open your mind ( the way you did when Michael Sam kissed his boyfriend on Live TV and you wanted to voice your displeasure but instead you punked out and said it’s ok it’s his right as in American ) come on open your mind like that.
3. He wants to so desperately draft Marcus Mariotta who just happens to look like who?….. You guessed it Bamm Bamm! Come on y’all Believe! Believe the way you did when you voted for Obama then when he won he switched up and pulled a Bruce Jenner on us ( we’ve already copyrighted that phrase.)
4. And this one’s important folks, the real reason he traded Desean Jackson and now Shady McCoy is all the white players on the team just go along with the fact that Chip Kelly is indeed really Barney Rubble but the brothers kept saying ” man I ain’t listening to no f*#kin cartoon character” Come on y’all believe! Open your mind like Rihanna opens her legs.
5. And here it is folks the one! This one right here will simultaneously shut down all the haters ,the nay Sayers and non believers cause this is it y’all! And here it is folks and this is why we get the big dollars at abefinklestein.com ( no we don’t ) here’s our shocking proof!…… How come you never ever see Barney Rubble and Chip Kelly in the same place at the same time? Huh? Huh? Did you hear what we justa said man? Come on think about it! Open your mind! And oh yea one more thing Yabba Dabba Dooo!!! Come on you know we had to throw just one of those in there.